


The Proud or the Modest

by Rulerofyouall



Series: Lucifer (TV) One Shots [8]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bullying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, Past Abuse, Pride, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Seven Deadly Sins, Sins, Tumblr: luciferprompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2020-02-29 07:45:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18774313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofyouall/pseuds/Rulerofyouall
Summary: "Seven angels rebelled against God eons ago, and all of them were sent to Hell for different reason, giving them part of their identity: the Seven Deadly Sins. Lucifer is Pride, but when he starts to lose that trait and becomes self-deprecating and depressed along with a low self-esteem, the remaining six sins go to LA to find out why and to bring Pride back."





	1. After Uriel

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing!

He was a monster. A beast. Something that deserved to be locked in that Pit he had tried for so long to stay away from.

How could he have killed Uriel, his own little brother? It didn't matter if it was in self defense or not; it wouldn't bring him back either way.

He had tried to console himself. Uriel had been a threat to both Chloe and Mum. He had to do it, had to defend them, but this portion of his brain fell on deaf ears. He didn't have to kill him. Uriel might have gotten the message had he just listened.

Swirling the whiskey in his glass, he sat on one of the seats near his bar. Chloe wouldn't need him. Hell, she had seen how much of a hot mess he was anyway. Linda was finally fixed though, but he didn't want to risk going to her so soon after revealing it all.

What gave him the right to take his brother's life? No one did. He had stolen it selfishly, stolen the light within Uriel.

They called him proud, and they were right. He was disgustingly arrogant, selfish, unworthy. Everything he did was a waste of time and energy. He only ever brought people down.

He swallowed the rest of his whiskey and set his glass down, thumbing the edge of his shirt. He hadn't changed it in what felt like forever, but he wouldn't do so anyway. He didn't deserve it.

Likewise, he didn't deserve to help or even be with the detective. He had to teach himself not to be selfish, not to be proud because it was clear that no one else was going to do it for him. He couldn't risk hurting anyone else in his arrogance.

He thought back to Hell, all dark and ashy. He and his other fallen siblings had quickly ascended the hierarchy and ruled, relishing in their newfound freedom to sin. All seven of them had specialized in one specific deadly sin, and they had all been cast out for that very same reason.

He was Pride. His arrogance went beyond confidence. He thought he was better than everyone else around him; surely, his human friends new that very well by now.

Why hadn't any of them officially terminated their friendship? From what he gathered, humans didn't like being around someone who was overly cocky, so why did they put up with him? Was it just because he had a skill they found useful?

He didn't like using his ability regarding desire unless it was absolutely necessary. It made his skin crawl to have other beings so far under his control. He could strip humans of their free will in an instant; what did that make him? Why should he stand for anything if he would rip it away from them like a hypocrite?

How would he ever teach himself not to be so prideful? It had killed his little brother. No, he had killed his little brother. Should He submit himself to his father's punishment and return to Hell?

But Hell hadn't taught him much of anything in that manner. In fact, Lucifer was sure it actually made him worse; it let him get away with things he hadn't been able to beforehand. Then, what would he do to learn his lesson? How could he quell the raging arrogance within him?

A quiet, evil little voice told him to stop. He was the Devil; he was supposed to be proud and full of it. He was supposed to embrace all sin and be the evil creature that the Bible made him out to be.

Only he didn't feel like that would be the right call. When humans sinned, they often did penance, so he should do the same thing, should he not?

He glanced at the hated blade that had impaled his brother, wanting desperately to throw it off of his balcony. He didn't want to see it, be reminded of the egregious sin he had committed.

The Devil picked it up. It was a relatively light blade, much lighter than it looked. At least, that was from his perspective. It was too arrogant of him to assume that his point of view was the same of that of the human race.

Rubbing his fingers against the side of the blade, he relished the pain and discomfort its sharp edge caused. He deserved this and more. What else could he do? He ran it along his forearm lightly, watching the blood lazily bubble from the open wound.

Suddenly, he moved the blade much faster and slashed at his wrist. That had a much more satisfying result, but it did leave a spray. Blood came much more quickly out of the latter cut, and Lucifer moved to his bathroom. It would be easier to clean up whatever mess he made in there.

How dare he kill? How dare he strip his brother of life? How dare he sit there in such ignorant arrogance?

He was not one of the enlightened few; his Father had rejected him, kicked him out. He probably knew what was coming, how much of a monster he truly was. He didn't deserve to waste resources that humans could use. He didn't need it.

He leaned back and thought about his six fallen siblings. They were probably still being the same sinners they always were, and here he was, the worst of the pack.

He really didn't deserve to be on Earth.

 


	2. The Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The other six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Info below from Wikipedia  
> The 7 Deadly Sins:  
> Lucifer: Pride  
> Mammon: Greed  
> Asmodeus: Lust  
> Leviathan: Envy  
> Beelzebub: Gluttony  
> Satan: Wrath  
> Belphegor: Sloth

"I don't see why we should bother." Belphegor groaned, his head resting on the window of the van the six were inhabiting.

Lucifer had been off lately, and not in a good way. Mammon had suggested that they take an excursion to the earthly realm just to see why Pride wasn't so prideful recently, and they had concluded that the Los Angeles Police Department must have something to do with why their brother was all wrong as of late. He spent a lot of time there, so perhaps the humans within would know something.

Asmodeus rolled his eyes. "You never think we should bother."

"I'm perfectly content just waiting here alone."

"Yeah, no, you're coming with us." Satan clawed at Belphegor's shirt and yanked him towards her.

Chloe had been finishing a report when the odd group strolled through the doors. Their clothing was largely outdated, dating back to various times including at least the 60s and the 70s. She passed the report to her ex-husband for a moment.

"Can you sign this?" She asked. Her eyes remained on the group of people, who had begun to walk towards her.

"Yeah," Dan responded and took the paper, "who do you think they are?"

"I don't know."

Mammon's eyes flicked around the room. "Excuse me." His voice was sharp; his politeness, fake.

The female detective straightened her back. "Yes? How can I help you?"

"We're looking for information on our brother." Satan clicked her nails together behind her back.

Chloe's eyebrows knit together. "Is he missing?"

"No, he's just not in a good place right now." She was getting impatient.

Dan looked even more confused than Chloe had looked. "Do you mean he's in prison?"

"No! Did I say that?" She suddenly exploded. "Did you hear those words come out of my mouth?"

He flinched back slightly before adopting a courteous attitude. "How may we help you? What is your brother's name?"

Both of them decided that they didn't like this bunch very much, but they still had to do their job. Ella creeped into the sidelines, waiting patiently for her colleagues to finish.

Leviathan stepped up, touching her sister's arm lightly. "Lucifer Morningstar."

If Chloe had been drinking water, she would have spit it out. These people were Lucifer's siblings? "You're his siblings?"

"She literally just said that." Satan crossed her arms and huffed lowly.

"Wait, wait, what do you mean Lucifer isn't in a good place?" Ella felt the need to interrupt. "Is he in trouble?"

Belphegor shrugged.

"Can I get your names?" Chloe inquired. "I need them before I can help you."

"I'm Beelzebub." She introduced herself. "That's Mammon, Belphegor, Satan, Leviathan, and Asmodeus."

She hesitated at the strange names. Again, they were all biblical, but unlike Amenadiel, these names sounded more demonic.

"Are you guys method actors too? What is this show about? The Seven Deadly Sins?" Ella laughed a bit.

They ignored her and focused on Chloe and Dan.

"Do you have any information on Lucifer?" Asmodeus demanded. "Something is wrong with him."

"Well," she had been noticing that some things were off, but she hadn't given it much attention. "What do you think is wrong with him?"

"When we fell from grace, we all had different reasons for being cast out, and Lucifer's was pride. He doesn't seem prideful anymore." Mammon responded.

Dan furrowed his brow. "And this is a bad thing?"

Satan nodded her head furiously. "Yes! Lucifer is Pride. Without pride, a large part of him is missing. Lucifer is not the same Lucifer anymore! We have to fix this."

"How far gone is his pride?" Ella asked quietly.

Beelzebub answered her. "He doesn't seem to hold himself with any esteem anymore. He hasn't changed his clothes in what feels like forever, and he can hardly bring himself to do anything any normal person would do. He's stopped playing the piano, and he's stopped caring about his night club. It seems like all he cares about is drugs, alcohol, and carving up his wrist."

Dan choked. "Are you saying that he self-harms?" He could barely believe it.

Belphegor looked confused. "Did he not tell you guys about cutting off his wings? It really shouldn't be that much of a surprise."

Chloe stood up. "I have to go see him. He's at LUX, right?"

"Yeah." Satan tapped her foot. "Are we not going to get the information we came here for then?"

"Sorry, but it looks like you know more than we do." Dan hoped she wouldn't yell at him again.

Mammon touched his sister for a moment. "Why don't we just go over to LUX and figure this out ourselves?"

"Fine, Mammon." She huffed. "This was a waste of time."

And with that, she dragged the rest of her siblings outside and away from any humans. They unfurled their great wings and vanished.

"Are you guys coming?" Chloe looked lost. She had known that something was off about her partner. Why hadn't she said something? Lucifer's own siblings probably knew more about his mental health than she did.

Ella had a shaky voice. "Yeah." She swallowed.

Meanwhile, the rest of the six landed on the balcony of the penthouse. Lucifer looked up slightly, but he remained buried underneath a pile of blankets on a sofa. He seemed disinterested in their presence.

"What is wrong with you?" Beelzebub narrowed his eyes sharply.

Lucifer knew them, trusted them. "I'm a monster."

"Why?"

"I killed Uriel."

"Did he deserve it?" Satan interjected.

"No." The Devil burrowed further underneath the mound. "That's why I deserve Hell."

Belphegor felt the need to speak. "Does that mean we can all go home now?"

"No where is home." Lucifer commented.

"That is a bit melodramatic."

"It's true."

Mammon marched towards his brother. "Wrists out."

Lucifer's eyes widened. How did they know? He looked away in shame.

"Do it." Fury lit itself in Satan's gaze.

At that, he hastily ripped both his arms out of the blankets. Both of them were caked in drying blood. While the bleeding had slowed, it still seeped from the wound in regular pulses.

Mammon took a roll of gauze from his pocket.

"Where did you get that?" Asmodeus asked.

"Knicked it off of a convenience store." He wrapped his younger brother's arm messily.

"Are you going to come back to Hell with us?" Satan demanded.

Lucifer shook his head. "That place made me so arrogant. I need to do penance. Here."

She slapped him. "Why do you not embrace the rebellion from our father? You are pride. Without arrogance, you are nothing?"

"I would rather be nothing than unwanted."

She slapped him again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	3. Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer is with his other fallen siblings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing! Info below from Wikipedia  
> The 7 Deadly Sins:  
> Lucifer: Pride  
> Mammon: Greed  
> Asmodeus: Lust  
> Leviathan: Envy  
> Beelzebub: Gluttony  
> Satan: Wrath  
> Belphegor: Sloth

Beelzebub looked at her brother in suspicion. "Did you cut anywhere else?"

The seven of them had gathered around the sofa, some of them on it and some on the floor. The Devil didn't seem motivated enough to move, and none of them felt like it would be safe to leave him by himself.

"No." Lucifer shook his head.

"Are you lying?" Satan narrowed her eyes.

The other fallen angel snarled slightly. "Have you ever known me to be a liar, sister?"

She shrugged. "No, but I have to check. Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Mammon craned his neck to see Lucifer's back. "Did your wing bases heal over well?"

"As well as they could."

Belphegor looked interested all of the sudden. "I bet he has some wicked scars from that. Can I see?"

"No."

Sloth pouted a little and seemed to collapse in on himself. "You're no fun anymore."

Asmodeus lightly slapped his brother up the head. "It probably doesn't look that good. You can't blame him for not wanting others to see it, okay?"

"I guess." He was obviously still bitter about it. "But we see that sort of shit in Hell all the time."

"This is different. It's more personal."

Lucifer found himself dozing instead of listening to all of his siblings present. He couldn't help but wonder why they found it necessary to completely abandon the Pit to its own devices. Normally, there was at least one of them maintaining order at all times although Belphegor never did a very good job of it. He just didn't ever feel like working. Were they upset with him? Maybe they thought he deserved to be punished for killing Uriel as well. They could just be pretending to care about him, so when he finally opened up to them, they could destroy him. That made more sense.

He fiddled with a string coming off of the gauze that Mammon had applied. It wasn't a bad job either; it seemed that his brother had actually cared that he healed well. But he knew better than that now. It was all a lie, a falsehood.

Satan straightened her back. "Are we going to just sit here all day, or are we going to, you know, actually do something?"

In all honesty, Lucifer couldn't bring himself to get off of the sofa. He wanted to, but at the same time, it felt as though he was being chained down to it. He couldn't move despite his best efforts; he was paralyzed.

By what exactly, he did not know. Could it be from anxiety? Fear? Or was it the weight of all his sins pulling him down?

"You sure we shouldn't be back in Hell?" Leviathan grumbled slightly.

"I'm not going to stop you from leaving if that is what you desire." His voice was hoarse.

Asmodeus inserted himself in the conversation. "I think they mean that they want you to come with us. We're not leaving until you are safe or until you agree to come with us."

Lucifer shook his head. "I have to do penance."

"Since when have you given a fuck about what Dad thinks?" Satan raised a pointed eyebrow. "You're the Devil, the main fallen angel, the one people think of first. You have never cared about the consequences of your actions. You were never wrong; you were always right. Why are you suddenly licking Dad's boots?"

"I killed our brother." He couldn't even bring himself to feel an emotion. The numbness felt cold, and it settled mainly over his chest.

"In self defense." She countered immediately, getting angry on his behalf.

Lucifer bit his lip hard. "That doesn't mean that it is right now, that nothing happened. I still ended his life. He won't come back ever."

Mammon nodded along with him. "You're right. You'll have to live with it for the rest of your life, but that doesn't change the fact that his death was needed to protect those you care about."

"But I cared about him too."

"Well, he didn't care about you." Satan snapped at him.

The blow hit the Devil hard. His own younger brother didn't care about him regardless of how much Lucifer loved him. It was unrequited. Did any of them truly care about him? Even give a shit about him?

Leviathan paused for a moment. "What did you use to do this?"

"Azrael's blade."

"Where is it?"

Lucifer shrugged. He didn't care enough to communicate with him the information. The Devil knew it was in the bathroom, but he found that he didn't want them to take it away either.

"I thought you said you don't lie." Beelzebub raised an eyebrow.

He didn't respond.

Mammon stood. "I'm going to go look for that and anything else I can find."

"I will go too." Leviathan rose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!


	4. Visitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucifer gets some visitors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing!  
> The 7 Deadly Sins:  
> Lucifer: Pride  
> Mammon: Greed  
> Asmodeus: Lust  
> Leviathan: Envy  
> Beelzebub: Gluttony  
> Satan: Wrath  
> Belphegor: Sloth

"Lucifer?" The LAPD crew had gotten to the penthouse as fast as they could. Ella had suggested that they stop at a local convenience store to pick up some medical supplies and whatnot, but that had not added much time to their journey.

The Devil hadn't moved off of the sofa since his siblings started searching the building for sharp and dangerous objects. Belphegor had decided to keep him company, but Lucifer was almost completely certain that that was due to his laziness and not actual compassion. The other fallen angel had seemingly fallen asleep.

"Detective? I thought you had....business to take care of at the precinct." He sounded confused. Chloe had warned him that that day would likely be a boring one filled with paperwork and all, so he had elected to remain in his penthouse for the day.

"We heard about what you've been doing." The detective stated awkwardly. It was a lot more uncomfortable to have this conversation with someone she knew than a stranger off the streets. "Your siblings showed up at the precinct looking for you."

Lucifer paused and mentally cursed. "How much did they tell you?" He was clearly irked by his siblings' actions. What he was going through right now was private; there was no need to make the detective worry over him.

"That you weren't in a good place mentally right now. Have you been to therapy recently?" Chloe asked out of concern.

He shrugged. "I broke her for a while. She's only just been fixed, so I don't want to bombard her with my problems.

"It's her job to help you sort through, understand, and cope with your emotions." Ella spoke up. "It might be a good idea for you to talk to her again, especially given the circumstance." Subconsciously, her eyes wandered to the thick gauze wrapping enveloping both of his arms.

"She wouldn't get it." Lucifer responded. "No human would get it, don't you bloody understand?"

Dan interjected a comment into the conversation. "We aren't pretending to know what you are going through, Lucifer, but what you are doing now is pretty serious. Whenever we come across a case like this, we have the person psychologically evaluated."

"I'm not going to get evaluated and waste everyone's time." He knew that he shouldn't be greedy and self centered, so why would he even consider taking resources that could be used by humans who actually matter? Lucifer was just a scapegoat. He didn't deserve to be treated the same as humanity.

Chloe sensed the heavy, foggy atmosphere and decided to change subjects. "How many siblings do you have? I thought it was just you and Amenadiel."

Lucifer let out a breathy laugh. "No, detective, it isn't just Amenadiel and myself; my father created hundreds of angels for the host."

What did that even mean? The detective scratched at the edges of her brain, trying to figure out where the 'host' played in in his delusions, but at the same time, how can one man have hundreds of children? Was it a cult?

"And what about the six here now?" Ella gestured to where Belphegor was sleeping.

"They were all part of my rebellion against our father, so when we lost, he sent us all falling into Hell." The Devil looked more tired than anything. He had seemingly given up and was just answering questions asked to him.

"Why did you rebel? Was it just the classic teenage rebellion?" Dan inquired.

Lucifer shook his head. "No, we just wanted the same free will you humans enjoy. Angels never get to make their own decisions; they simply follow our father's will."

"But you got out." Chloe tried to remain positive, but she was still struggling to wrap her head around his metaphors. What was real and what was fantasy? Was there someone out there who really had that much control over their children? Was there a parent out there who practically enslaved their children?

"For now, I suppose. He wants me back in Hell, I imagine, but I'm not going to go back."

"Good, I'd miss you." Ella smiled a little bit. She restrained the urge to give him a big hug. She knew that Lucifer would not enjoy it, and she wanted to respect his personal boundaries.

Suddenly, Satan walked back into the main area of the penthouse and dropped a bucket littered with different knives and other weapons onto the table by the bar. She looked annoyed and obviously wanted to be doing anything but scouring the house for sharps.

"How many of these do you got, dude?" Satan seemed to have calmed down a bit since their last conversation, but anger still floated in her eyes.

"A lot of them belong to Maze, sister." Lucifer stared at the bucket. He wanted, no needed, a blade. He had to do penance; he had to drain his body of all the monstrous and evil energy coursing through his veins.

With any hope, Lucifer did not want them to find every single blade or sharp edge in the penthouse. No matter what they did, the Devil knew that he would find a way to achieve his release, and there would be nothing anyone could do to stop him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions and comments are welcome and appreciated!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and suggestions are welcome and appreciated!


End file.
